I Got Laid on ‘High There!’ – Tinder for Stoners
I heard about an app called ‘High There!’ over the weekend, which has been affectionately dubbed “Tinder for the cannabis community.” That was all I needed to hear. In less time it takes me to make most of my questionable decisions, I found myself downloading High There from the App Store.
At first glance, it looks pretty similar to every other hook-up or dating app. However, unlike Tinder, you don’t have to link your account to Facebook. After I loaded up my favorite mirror-selfie, High There asked me some questions to get a sense of what type of stoner I am. First: what kind of high to I prefer? They actually categorize this under the term ‘energy level.’ If you like Indicas, you’re classified as ‘low energy.’ If you’re a fan of Sativas, then you’re ‘high energy.’ Finally, if you enjoy both, you’ll fall into the ‘medium energy’ category. Even though I mostly smoke Indica strains, I reminded myself that my intention was to find a hook-up, not to find someone to share a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos with while marathoning Doctor Who. That being said, I decided to select ‘medium energy,’ in hopes I’d get matched with a girl with intentions that mirror my own.
Next, High There wanted to know my preferred method of getting THC into my bloodstream. They give you the option to choose one of the following: Smoking, Vaporizing, Edibles or the all encompassing ‘It’s all good.’ Again, not wanting to limit the pool I’d be selecting from, I chose ‘It’s all good.’ It’s worth noting that the app gives you the ability to change your answer to these questions as often as you like. If you’re finding your not getting matched with as many thick girls as you’d hoped as a ‘high energy vapist,’ try making the switch to a ‘low energy edible consumer’ to gain access to all those hot snacking’ fattys.
To round out the questionnaire, you’ll be asked to select up to six interests from the following: Gaming, Outdoors, Culture, TV/Movies, Food and Music. As I’m interested in all those things, and this is mostly a numbers game, I chose all six. Lastly, you’re essentially asked to choose your end-game. High There wants to know what you’d like to do with whomever you match with: chat, stay in or go out. This one kind of threw me for a loop. My internal dialogue was obviously, “I could potentially get laid from selecting any of these, but which one would give me the best chance?” I decided it would be smart to start off by chatting and see where things went from there. Again, you can change your preferences to any of these questions as much as you want.
“A notification on my screen informing me I had made a new connection on High There confirmed my suspicion that I am the sexiest man alive. Time to get serious. Pizza down. Game-face on.”
With all that out of the way, I was finally ready to swipe through some prospects. I was anxious to see how many users were in my area and how willing they were to meetup, smokeout and get down. As I live in Los Angeles, I figured sheer numbers would lead me to an acceptable match sooner rather than later. Allow me to set the scene: it was Thursday evening, approximately 7:30 pm, in Venice, California. I’m a couple post-work balloon bags deep with a gourmet pizza on the way and Major Lazer blasting through my Bose speakers. In short, I’m the prize in the proverbial High There cereal box. However, after fifteen minutes of continuous swiping, I found myself perplexed as to why I was still a matchless loser. “It’s a new app,” I told myself. “Gotta give it some time.” I found comfort in my organic mushroom, fontina cheese and fresno chili pizza and fired up Netflix.
About three slices in, I was beginning to feel a bit sorry for myself. But then, just as I began to fold slice number four in half long-ways for easier consumption, I heard my phone make the most beautiful noise I have ever heard. A notification on my screen informing me I had made a new connection on High There confirmed my suspicion that I am the sexiest man alive. Time to get serious. Pizza down. Game-face on.
My match, 29 y/o Emily, was just four miles away. From my past tinder experiences, I was well aware the opening line in these situations can either make or break you. I decided to keep it simple and to the point. “Hey Emily. Glad we matched. How’s your week going?” I figured, all I need is a response. Then I’d be able to charm her. I got one. After about ten minutes of the usual back-and-forth getting to know you, I was able to lineup a meeting tomorrow night for a drink just down the street from my house. All the pieces were in place.
Friday night rolled around, and it was time to High There would ultimately warrant the five star rating I had preemptively given it. I put a quick buzz on and walked up to the bar to meet Emily. I got there a little early so I grabbed a seat at the bar and ordered a drink. Not soon after, in walked my date, looking pretty damn good! She sat down next to me, and we got to talking. Aside from the first few minutes, as we felt obliged to talk about bud in some aspect since we had met on a dating app for weed smokers, the conversation played out the same as if we would have met on tinder or even at the bar itself.
However, I had one hypothesis I was eager to put to the test. I figured as long as the attraction was there, if you could manage to drag a self proclaimed stoner out of her house for a date using HIgh There, the end of the night would almost certainly result in sex. My rational being this: most stoners are lazy and pretty easy to please. I imagined her internal dialogue to be, “Well, I put makeup on, paid for an Uber and he said he has good bud and a Tempurpedic bed at his place. Why not?” Why not, indeed. Without getting into too much glorious detail, we went back to my place, fired up the Herbalizer, and the rest, as they say, is history.
With Tinder now trying to get users to pay $9.99/month for ‘unlimited swipes,’ a totally free app like High There has incredible potential. It recently cleared a crucial hurdle. Initially, the app was only available for download in states with a legal cannabis industry. However, Apple and Google have recently given High There the ‘OK’ to rollout nationwide, just in time for 4/20.